What Matters

I have been meaning to write about life and it's meaning for the longest time but was wondering if this is the right outlet. Should I start with a video, will people even read, who will listen to me, etc etc were some of the thoughts that ran through my mind. I am sure many of us do that - UNDERMINE ourselves. It's Sunday night. I usually go for a walk or go for a late night movie or just go to a friend's house to chill. But there's something peculiar happening with me since the last couple of months and it's something that I wanted to share with people.

We spend a lot of time browsing Instagram or Facebook for hours, looking at how amazing people's lives are and then feeling insecure or miserable about our own. We feel miserable about how we are not making progress in life or how we are stuck at the same job, stuck in a relationship we want to get out of or unhappy about NOT being a relationship or just unhappy about how everyone around you is getting married and you're not. We feel sorry about ourselves, talk to ourselves about how we're not going to let other people's lives affect our own and move on. The next day, it's the same routine when you're alone or at home in the night before sleeping.

We're all insecure or feel miserable about our lives but we don't work towards making it better. We accept that this is how life is and this is how life is meant to be lived. We don't question our existence and let "destiny" play it's role. We blame our stars for things all the bad things happening in our lives and run to some astrologer to know what our future holds. We accept whatever the astrologer says because 'hey, why blame ourselves about our own problems when you have the stars, the moon and our wretched horoscopes or even destiny/karma to blame for what's happening to us.

I went through this phase, you know. Blaming people, things, my parents for my insecurities, my problems and my decisions. I had held grudges against my parents for saying things when they were angry, against my ex for making me feel the way he did and then justifying my actions wrong/right based on what had happened to me in my past. We all do that. Why? Because we term these things are learning of life. Something or somebody breaks us, we think we're over coming it by partying hard or moving on fast or probably working hard because we want to keep ourselves busy and not think about what is hurting us or disturbing us. We run away from the answers.

Broke up? Ex was a horrible person? Start smoking and drinking more to break free and term it as being independent!

Parents say you're not good enough or a liability? Be a rebel to prove them wrong!

Society/Friends call you Fat, ugly and unworthy? Lose weight to say "Bitch please"

Lesson #1 - We humans never forgive and forget. We keep these insecurities in head, letting it get to us everyday. We save these memories in our head and they make us feel bad. That leads to depression, anxiety & moments of weakness.

Lesson #2 - We talk to people (friends/family) about our problems and ask them for solutions to OUR problems. We ask THEM for THEIR opinions on OUR problems and then we ACT on THEIR solutions. WHY? I am not saying don't talk to people about your problems. You should. If you're feeling horrible, depressed, anxious - you should talk it out. You should tell people how you're FEELING but asking for other people's OPINIONS is where we should stop. No one knows what we want deep inside than ourselves. Learn to trust your feelings. Learn to trust your emotions towards things. How do YOU feel about taking a huge decision in life? Does that make YOU happy? Will that improve YOUR life? If it does, go ahead. If you keep taking other people's opinions on how to lead your life, you're heading towards a disaster - because that won't be your decision! It will be your best friends decision and when things will go topsy-turvy, you won't know what to with the situation because it wasn't what you wanted in the first place!

How do we then solve these problems you ask? We talk to ourselves. We need to start understanding who are are as a human being. You need to start asking yourself some important questions- Who AM I? What is MY purpose in life? What AM I defined by? Why was I born? Evaluate yourself. Give time to yourself. Give time to understand your feelings and emotions. But the first step is to ask questions to yourself. Know who you are before you let other people know you. Learn to distinguish your emotions and do not judge yourself or beat yourself up for your decisions in life. We're all here to learn and experience life in all it's virtues. Let's learn to understand and experience ourselves first!

Lots of love,

D